Even adults can attest to the fact that sharing isn’t always easy, right? Like all of us, kids especially have a special affinity for certain objects, spaces, and activities they can call their own. Your child might have a favorite stuffed animal that serves a comforting role in new situations or places. Or, he or she may love playing with a particular toy. Once kids grasp the concept of ownership, you may hear an increase in their use of the word “mine.”
While it’s completely natural for kids to want exclusive access to certain objects, toys, or activities, it’s also equally important for little ones to exercise the social communication skills that come along with sharing and generosity. In addition to group or sibling play—both of which are wonderful opportunities to practice these important skills—here are five easy ways to encourage your preschooler to joyfully share with others.
1. Ease Your Child’s Fears About Scarcity
Whenever you see a heightened reaction in your child, it can often mean there’s a strong emotion underneath. Talk to your child to determine what they’re feeling when they don’t seem inclined to share with others. Sometimes a reluctance to share is due to a fear of scarcity. When they’re very young, children are still developing object permanence. Yet, even after they learn that objects don’t disappear into thin air, they may still worry that out of sight means out of existence. Older children may be concerned that if they give a toy to someone else, they may not get it back. To combat this fear, reassure your child that sharing isn’t permanent.
2. Practice Timed Sharing
If needed, use a clock or an alarm to help allay any fears while sharing. You can say: “Right now, we’re going to set the timer for 5 minutes. When you hear the bell ring, it’s time for Daniel Tiger to be back in your arms.” Knowing that the activity of sharing has a clear boundary or a firm end time can help kids feel more willing to share. Having kids wait their turn with an object will also help them to practice delayed gratification, a skill that’s associated with higher test scores and higher rates of wellbeing as adults. In helping children practice sharing, we are equipping them with the skills to navigate the social world we all live in.
3. Start Small To Build Confidence
To equip children with these important skills, start small. Practicing sharing in small doses can help them get comfortable with the concept. Even sharing a toy for thirty seconds can be a big accomplishment for your little one. When they successfully share, offer them some praise for trying something new. Positive reinforcement is a great tool to help encourage children. Be on the lookout for times when they spontaneously offer a friend or a sibling a bite of food or a favorite toy. By noticing and encouraging them when they naturally exercise these skills, you can build confidence and associate positive feedback with sharing.
4. Model Sharing Behavior & Language
Without realizing it, parents may have a lot of objects that kids aren’t allowed to touch or activities they are not to take part in. This can be as simple as referring to “Mommy’s coffee” or “Daddy’s T.V. show.” While it’s important for caregivers to have objects and activities that are just for them, it can unintentionally model a less communal approach. Whenever you can, build family rapport and team spirit by pointing out all the things you do share. Family game night, family recipes, and weekend routines are all examples of shared activities. To practice sharing at home, designate a family object that is passed from member to member. It could be a tablet, favorite book, or other high-value object, depending on the ages and interests of your children. Designate a day of the week that each family member has the object before passing it on to the next person.
5. Choose Childcare That Helps Kids Develop Socially
One of the best ways for your child to learn social skills is by introducing them to new friends through childcare. They can practice good manners, sharing, and compromise throughout each day’s activities. The Gardner School doesn’t expect these behaviors to just arise spontaneously in kids. Instead, we consider social-emotional learning to be just as important as our strong academic standards. To learn more about how you can help your child become adept academically and socially, contact us today to discover what we can bring to your family.