As parents, we’ve all been there. You’re moving right along with your happy and productive day—maybe at the grocery store or a restaurant—when, all of a sudden, your adorable little one bursts into a tantrum. Especially for toddlers, emotional meltdowns are inevitable. Even more, trying to prevent a meltdown or tantrum is likely out of your control. In fact, it’s perfectly normal for your toddler to have a meltdown, and it can present itself in the form of crying, screaming, running away, or even hitting and kicking.
But, rather than trying to prevent them, it’s best to focus on some practical ways to manage tantrums, as they can be helpful to children learning to express their feelings and how to handle big emotions. As you navigate your way through this parenting challenge, here are six tips for managing toddler meltdowns.
1. Understand the Why Behind the Meltdown
Processing the reason behind your child’s tantrum is key to managing your way through it with him or her. As a child’s social and emotional skills are in the early stages of development at this age, he or she won’t often know the words needed to express such big emotions. At this early stage, children are also becoming more independent and realizing that behavior can influence how people respond to them. Whether they are merely hungry, tired, upset because they are not being rewarded with something they desire, or even unsure of the current environment, they are ultimately just reacting in the emotional capacity for which they know or understand at this stage of growth and development.
2. Check Your Own Emotions
Toddler meltdowns will test your patience. You’ll experience your own waves of emotions, which will determine your reaction, so it’s very important that you remain calm and parent on. While it may be a gut reaction to respond in anger, frustration, or discipline, a helpful tactic can be to take a breath and approach the situation with a calm and level head. Also, keep in mind that reacting with a spirit of anger, fear, or shame can often be too much for children of this age to comprehend or receive well.
3. Observe Environmental Triggers
If you’re noticing meltdowns happening in specific places or settings, a helpful way to manage a potential meltdown is to prepare ahead for the environment. Especially if public places like stores or restaurants are trigger environments for your little one, a helpful tip is to plan a strategy for distracting your child from the temptation for desiring things that you might not want them to have. Or, if being in a car for long periods of time can cause stress for your little one, it can be helpful to have a plan for periodic stops on your journey. All in all, you can get a good handle on potential meltdowns by careful observation and clever planning.
4. Meet Them on Their Level
In the midst of a meltdown, one of the best ways to encourage a child is by meeting them on their level with a calm assurance that you understand their emotions and that you’re aware of his or her feelings. As they begin to calm down, it’s always helpful to talk with them about what’s going on, why they are upset, and how they could have acted differently.
5. Take Control When Needed
We get it—talking through a child’s feelings with them or ignoring a tantrum altogether won’t always work. There will be times when you have to make a decision to take charge when a meltdown gets out of control—especially in a public setting. When necessary, you can still remain calm and remove your little one from the environment while letting them continue to process his or her emotions. All in all, use your best judgment and stand firm.
6. Have a Consistent Strategy
Like anything, consistency is key when it comes to managing toddler tantrums. If you surrender by just giving the child what they want in order to appease the meltdown, the problem could continue. However, staying consistent in your approach and focusing on a calm approach will go a long way in helping your child learn how to behave well at all times and to respect parental authority.
Partnering with Parents to Promote Healthy Behavior
At The Gardner School, our childhood development program for toddlers is carefully designed to encourage each child’s growing need for independence and an emerging sense of self, while nurturing intellectual growth, exploration, and socialization in a safe, supportive environment. Our goal is to partner with parents to help children succeed inside and outside of school. Contact us to learn more about our toddler program or to schedule a virtual tour at The Gardner School nearest you.