Some children jump right into new situations, while others take their time to warm up. Shyness is very common among preschoolers, and it’s a natural response to something (or someone) new. Shy children tend to take in their environment before responding to it, and in turn, they are often very observant, compassionate, empathetic, and great listeners, too!
Shyness doesn’t always go away over time, but how you nurture your child at this age can help them be more comfortable and confident in the world. If you’re looking for ways to support your shy child and help them feel comfortable, you’ve come to the right place!
Teach and Model Pro-Social Skills
Children often become less shy as they get older because they learn the skills needed to manage social situations. At The Gardner School, we implement activities and strategies to encourage social-emotional learning skills in the classroom. Helping children understand their emotions and the emotions of others can make them feel more confident and empowered to build strong relationships.
Try to model confident social behavior so your child can watch and learn from you! For example, say hello to others and ask how their day is going. You can even encourage your child to ask a grocery store employee where an item on your list is or try ordering a meal at a restaurant. Suggest things to say and do when they meet someone new and practice social role-playing with stuffed animals, dolls, or puppets!
Start With One-On-One Interactions
One-on-one interactions are usually less intimidating than big group events, so look for social situations where your child can connect with individuals. These one-on-one playdates can build the confidence your child may need to feel comfortable in larger social situations.
You can also try boosting your child’s confidence by scheduling playdates with children of all ages. A younger child may look up to your child and follow their lead, while an older child can help break the ice and take the lead! We’ve put together some additional tips you can use to help your preschooler make friends.
Encourage Social Curiosity
When you notice your child engaging in positive, confident social behavior—like making good eye contact with an adult or playing independently with a new friend—be sure to mention it to them later. Be specific with your praise, saying, “I like how you asked the boy at the park if he wanted to play with you!”
Avoid Labeling
If your child appears shy but typically becomes more comfortable in a situation or with a person as they get to know them, it may be better to describe them as “slow to warm up” rather than shy. Labeling a child to explain their behavior can make them feel like there’s something wrong with them. They may not even consider themselves shy, but if they hear it often enough, they may start to believe it.
If someone else calls your little one “shy,” you can gently correct them in front of your child. For instance, you might say, “Bonnie takes a little bit to warm up, but once she’s comfortable, she’d love to play!” This lets your child know that you understand their feelings and gives them space to engage with the situation when they’re ready.
Read Relevant Stories
Reading books about shyness is a great way to let your child know that what they’re feeling is normal. The messages in these stories can also equip your child with ways to cope and overcome challenging situations and feelings. Here are a few of our favorites:
- Willow’s Whispers by Lana Button and Tania Howells
- How Do Dinosaurs Play With Their Friends? by Jane Yolen
- I Am Quiet: A Story for the Introvert in All of Us by Andie Powers
The Gardner School Provides Support and Encouragement
Finding the right preschool for your child can provide them with a supportive and encouraging atmosphere that allows them to thrive! The Gardner School gets to know every student so we can match their learning style. Every child is unique, and we embrace them for who they are while providing them with tools to imagine who they will become! If you have questions about The Gardner School or are interested in enrolling, contact us today.